A longtime and dear friend, Melodee Hanes got married a few weeks ago. The 3rd time will most certainly be a charm. Her prince charming is Max Baucus, US Senator from the great state of Montana. They are an awesome couple.The date was set for Saturday, July 2, 2011, and 20 miles north of Helena, MT., a ranch beneath a big sunshiny sky was the wedding site. I packed my bags early Friday morning and headed to the airport proudly toting everything I needed in carry on luggage, a true feat if you had any idea how many lotions and potions it takes to get this chick looking good these days. I tried to cheat but the TSA man at security politely informed me I must never have learned the difference between a quart and a gallon bag. I put my best blond foot forward and thanked him for pointing out the difference. And truly, I really didn't know the distinction between liquids and solids. I thought all pricey products connected with beauty and hygiene were suspect. But after lifting and separating, he crammed the liquids into a quart bag as I quickly collected all the solids and off I went to my gate with everything I'd come with and very relieved.
It was to be an easy flight. I would leave DSM at 10 AM, connect in Denver and arrive in Helena at 1 PM. Mel planned to pick me up, we'd hug and get sloppy for a minute or two and then meet her sisters and daughter and do a few remaining errands. Afterwards, I envisioned leisurely preparing for a wedding eve cocktail buffet held at the luxurious 6 bedroom town home where we would all be staying.
Sounds easy, sounds doable and it turned out to be an almost fairytale nightmare.
The plane coming from Chicago to take me and 51 other passengers to the mile high city did not arrive in DSM until after the connecting flight in Denver was missed. Can you believe it? Air travel is SO not reliable. After 2 hours of seat searching to Anywhere, Montana with no results, it became crystal clear the only place I was going was back out the airport door and home to West Des Moines, or possibly into custody if I continued to harass the distraught ticketing agent. I had used reasoning, utmost diplomacy, the sympathy card, and force but the bottom line was there were no seats on any flights into the state of Montana that day or the next due to the holiday weekend.
Trying to hold back the frustrated and disappointed emotions in my voice, I called Melodee to tell her she would be getting married without her Iowa gal pal at the party. She sadly took my information, passed it onto Max and within 15 minutes called back with two options: If I could get to Las Vegas on Saturday, there was a chance of hitching a ride on Air Force 2 since invited guest Vice President Joe Biden was there for official business. Good Lord and holy crapola. What a thrill for a has been pilot. Option #2 was to fly private with a friend of Max's. He was traveling from NYC late Friday afternoon and graciously offered to swoop his Hawker 800 jet down and out of the friendly skies, pick me up and deliver me from the airline evils, right into HLN (pilot talk for Helena.) His name was Les and he and his friend were headed to Jackson Hole, WY. to do some rock climbing Saturday morning before flying into Helena for the afternoon wedding. I opted to be picked up by Les because, after all, a wedding isn't just the ceremony. It's the party before and brunch and headache the morning after. So, promptly at 4:45 PM Les's plane landed DSM, took on a bit of fuel and off we jetted, direct to Jackson Hole where they deplaned to climb a face of the Grand Tetons before flying to Helena the next day. The pilots and I were up and away almost before I could say thank you for the 50th time. In a mere 7 hours I had been transformed from lower than an airline chambermaid to Cinderella. How does this stuff happen?
The Saturday afternoon ceremony and dinner was held on a ranch that has been in Max's family for generations. I'd have to do some googling to conceptualize how large 70,000 acres really is but suffice it to say, to an Iowa city girl, it's just plain big-ass Montana big. The guest list included 150 people; family, friends and neighbors. Also present were Max's staff workers, my new best friends, the New Yorkers, and me, the token Midwesterner. Oh, and the Vice President of the United States and a few secret service men in charge of him. The attire was a casual mix of sun dresses, jeans, cowboy boots and a few 10 gallon hats thrown in. Melodee looked radiant in a short dress that sang of summer ease and elegance. It was sleeveless with a rounded scooped collar and the fabric was a monochromatic pattern in a creamy white. Max, the Montanan, wore blue jeans, a beige shirt and boots.
The ceremony was slated to begin at half past 5. At promptly 5:29 PM, VP Biden came walking down the drive and was the cue to let the games begin. Max and Mel, surrounded by their children extraordinaire, stood above the crowd atop an old wagon where vows were said to each other and also to their kids. It was a very heartfelt moment as we witnessed their verbal commitment to love and honor the whole fam damily. Melodee was positively glowing. And as for handsome Max, I know without a doubt he had shelved any concerns about the debt ceiling, or any ceiling for that matter until Monday morning. Somehow, in the shuffling of the crowd, Les and Goody either ditched or lost me, but looking right I found myself standing next to VP Biden during the ceremony...kind of cool on a hot day.
Just before dinner, our attention was turned to the empty field about 300 yards away. Two men were preparing for an event that would legitimize the marriage for the Baucus family. Suddenly the men raised up from the ground and began running. Approximately 60 seconds later.....Ka-BOOM. A big metal anvil shot out of a box and high into the sky. A whole lot of gun powder and a fuse was the reason why and we all clapped at the sight. The anvil shoot is a marriage tradition and meant the deal was officially sealed!
Dinner was Montana beef with all the summer accouterments and a friendly woman named Charlotte invited me to join her and husband Charlie at their table. The others were lawyers from Billings and Great Falls and the Attorney General who had just been in Iowa to meet with our AG so it gave common ground for good discussion. Charlotte, along with practically every other person in attendance was so accommodating and friendly. I was like a man without a country but it was a great opportunity to meet many interesting people. No one knew me as Carol but rather as Mel's friend from Iowa who had experienced unfathomable trauma getting to Helena...trauma my foot! What was unfathomable was being able to tell United airlines to shove it and then travel in the lap of luxury sipping wine and engaging in interesting conversation with two very bright and successful men. It doesn't get any better than that and gives a whole new meaning to travel connections...Max's connections rock!
After dinner the sun set down behind the mountain back drop and the heat of the day went away. The little kids were given sparklers and ran around laughing and happy. It was just a perfect day. Mel had tired of her little silver sandals and traded them in for her tried and true cowgirl boots which made it easier to dance up a storm with her new husband. You can take the girl out of the west but you can't take the west out of the girl!
My wish for Max, Mel, Katie, Joey, Zeno and Stephanie is a long and happy future together. Just for added insurance to help that happen, I got up early Sunday morning...after staying up until 2 in the morning partying with the young 20 somethings... to walk the short distance to the most beautiful cathedral for a dose of religion and to light a candle for them, specifically for Max to live a long and healthy life. Any job in Washington these days has to give a guy constant heartburn....or worse.
Sunday brought a delicious brunch and later a boat ride on the Missouri River, the very one causing all the misery in western Iowa. The river, threading through massive walls of limestone was truly a sight to behold. That night I joined Mel's family for dinner and another late night, but it was worth it. Her kids and sisters and cousins are delightful and made me feel like part of the family....I gladly "let them put their Hanes on me," meaning welcoming a non family member. Ha. Remember the commercial for pantyhose?
The trip home was uneventful. I traveled with sister Wendy and her granddaughter as far as Denver and onto DSM with cousin Lisa and significant other, Jon. Her sisters and family are very fun . Another person worth mentioning is the boyfriend of Mel's daughter, Katie, JP...(not PJ.) He is in commercial real estate in San Diego and is one the cutest smart guys I've had the pleasure of meeting. Katie is a dream daughter who will begin law school in the fall. Also, 14 year old niece Kourtney is pretty awesome as is Mel's nephew James. Son Joey is emerging into one handsome and focused dude, now studying in Seattle. He's come a long way from the 11 lb. overdue newborn I met about 19 years ago. Max's son Zeno and his wife Stephanie are charming and sweet. They enabled my Starbucks addiction each morning and it was painful to say goodbye to them.
All in all, it's a miracle I got there, but it proves miracles happen and fairytales come true. I believe Mel and Max are just that, a fairytale come true because they found in one another the light of their lives. They are deeply committed and will do all the right things to stay that way. Life is good.
OK, enough about me. Wedding details coming forth!
After landing in hallelujah Helena, Mel's daughter Katie, and Max's Montana right arm, Holly Luck picked me up and took a bee line to the town home.
I arrived exactly 22 minutes late. Shoot, in my world, that's right on time. I could have been that late simply by over primping for the party in my room upstairs. Cocktails and a beautiful buffet of Thai food were served. There were about 40 guests and after a quick meet and greet, I grabbed some grub and a glass of wine and sat down at a table with the pastor, his wife and Mel's relatives from Washington DC. There was delightful conversation regarding faith, love, spirituality, the beauty of amazing grace and other welcomed topics to cool my jets, so to speak. And talk about amazing grace, my whole day had been amazing and graced beyond belief.
After landing in hallelujah Helena, Mel's daughter Katie, and Max's Montana right arm, Holly Luck picked me up and took a bee line to the town home.
I arrived exactly 22 minutes late. Shoot, in my world, that's right on time. I could have been that late simply by over primping for the party in my room upstairs. Cocktails and a beautiful buffet of Thai food were served. There were about 40 guests and after a quick meet and greet, I grabbed some grub and a glass of wine and sat down at a table with the pastor, his wife and Mel's relatives from Washington DC. There was delightful conversation regarding faith, love, spirituality, the beauty of amazing grace and other welcomed topics to cool my jets, so to speak. And talk about amazing grace, my whole day had been amazing and graced beyond belief.
The party ended on the rooftop garden with champagne corks popping into the cool night air and we raised our glasses to the honored couple.
The Saturday afternoon ceremony and dinner was held on a ranch that has been in Max's family for generations. I'd have to do some googling to conceptualize how large 70,000 acres really is but suffice it to say, to an Iowa city girl, it's just plain big-ass Montana big. The guest list included 150 people; family, friends and neighbors. Also present were Max's staff workers, my new best friends, the New Yorkers, and me, the token Midwesterner. Oh, and the Vice President of the United States and a few secret service men in charge of him. The attire was a casual mix of sun dresses, jeans, cowboy boots and a few 10 gallon hats thrown in. Melodee looked radiant in a short dress that sang of summer ease and elegance. It was sleeveless with a rounded scooped collar and the fabric was a monochromatic pattern in a creamy white. Max, the Montanan, wore blue jeans, a beige shirt and boots. 
The ceremony was slated to begin at half past 5. At promptly 5:29 PM, VP Biden came walking down the drive and was the cue to let the games begin. Max and Mel, surrounded by their children extraordinaire, stood above the crowd atop an old wagon where vows were said to each other and also to their kids. It was a very heartfelt moment as we witnessed their verbal commitment to love and honor the whole fam damily. Melodee was positively glowing. And as for handsome Max, I know without a doubt he had shelved any concerns about the debt ceiling, or any ceiling for that matter until Monday morning. Somehow, in the shuffling of the crowd, Les and Goody either ditched or lost me, but looking right I found myself standing next to VP Biden during the ceremony...kind of cool on a hot day.
After the I do's became I did's, the servers sprang to life and with toasting glasses in hand we raised them to the newly weds. Joe Biden didn't exactly steal the thunder but since he is the Vice President, much of the focus was on him. He was gracious with the crowd as pictures were taken and autographs given. And after about 45 minutes he wished the newlyweds all the best and left with his entourage.
Just before dinner, our attention was turned to the empty field about 300 yards away. Two men were preparing for an event that would legitimize the marriage for the Baucus family. Suddenly the men raised up from the ground and began running. Approximately 60 seconds later.....Ka-BOOM. A big metal anvil shot out of a box and high into the sky. A whole lot of gun powder and a fuse was the reason why and we all clapped at the sight. The anvil shoot is a marriage tradition and meant the deal was officially sealed!
Dinner was Montana beef with all the summer accouterments and a friendly woman named Charlotte invited me to join her and husband Charlie at their table. The others were lawyers from Billings and Great Falls and the Attorney General who had just been in Iowa to meet with our AG so it gave common ground for good discussion. Charlotte, along with practically every other person in attendance was so accommodating and friendly. I was like a man without a country but it was a great opportunity to meet many interesting people. No one knew me as Carol but rather as Mel's friend from Iowa who had experienced unfathomable trauma getting to Helena...trauma my foot! What was unfathomable was being able to tell United airlines to shove it and then travel in the lap of luxury sipping wine and engaging in interesting conversation with two very bright and successful men. It doesn't get any better than that and gives a whole new meaning to travel connections...Max's connections rock!
After dinner the sun set down behind the mountain back drop and the heat of the day went away. The little kids were given sparklers and ran around laughing and happy. It was just a perfect day. Mel had tired of her little silver sandals and traded them in for her tried and true cowgirl boots which made it easier to dance up a storm with her new husband. You can take the girl out of the west but you can't take the west out of the girl! My wish for Max, Mel, Katie, Joey, Zeno and Stephanie is a long and happy future together. Just for added insurance to help that happen, I got up early Sunday morning...after staying up until 2 in the morning partying with the young 20 somethings... to walk the short distance to the most beautiful cathedral for a dose of religion and to light a candle for them, specifically for Max to live a long and healthy life. Any job in Washington these days has to give a guy constant heartburn....or worse.
Sunday brought a delicious brunch and later a boat ride on the Missouri River, the very one causing all the misery in western Iowa. The river, threading through massive walls of limestone was truly a sight to behold. That night I joined Mel's family for dinner and another late night, but it was worth it. Her kids and sisters and cousins are delightful and made me feel like part of the family....I gladly "let them put their Hanes on me," meaning welcoming a non family member. Ha. Remember the commercial for pantyhose?
The trip home was uneventful. I traveled with sister Wendy and her granddaughter as far as Denver and onto DSM with cousin Lisa and significant other, Jon. Her sisters and family are very fun . Another person worth mentioning is the boyfriend of Mel's daughter, Katie, JP...(not PJ.) He is in commercial real estate in San Diego and is one the cutest smart guys I've had the pleasure of meeting. Katie is a dream daughter who will begin law school in the fall. Also, 14 year old niece Kourtney is pretty awesome as is Mel's nephew James. Son Joey is emerging into one handsome and focused dude, now studying in Seattle. He's come a long way from the 11 lb. overdue newborn I met about 19 years ago. Max's son Zeno and his wife Stephanie are charming and sweet. They enabled my Starbucks addiction each morning and it was painful to say goodbye to them.All in all, it's a miracle I got there, but it proves miracles happen and fairytales come true. I believe Mel and Max are just that, a fairytale come true because they found in one another the light of their lives. They are deeply committed and will do all the right things to stay that way. Life is good.
Thanks Max and Mel and Les for getting me to the Montana church on a wagon on time. Did I mention the in flight beverage and snack service included chilled wine and fresh banana cupcakes purchased in Manhattan earlier that day? Seriously, I am still wondering how it happened. I guess it comes under the heading.. it was meant to be.
So now that the wedding is over, it's back to worrying about the darn debt ceiling. Maybe congress should have tried shooting an anvil through it. Can you imagine? A wooden box, a whole lot of gun powder, a strategically placed anvil and the continued debate about which side of the aisle should light the fuse?.....the fuse that got shorter by the day?
Upward and Onward....and God Bless America!
Upward and Onward....and God Bless America!
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